Authenticity Trumps Everything

Have you ever heard the song “It’s a Small World”?

I almost didn’t type that because now it’s going to be stuck in my head all night. But it’s all I could think about today after realizing that someone I know blocked me on Facebook.

Ah yes. The modern, passive-aggressive way of telling someone you don’t like them anymore.

It stung, honestly. I was so confused that I immediately started replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out what I’d done.

Was it my political posts? My constant advocacy for women’s rights in my own middle-of-the-road conservative way? Something I said? Something I didn’t say? Gossip I didn’t even know about?

This isn’t the first time I’ve been blocked or unfriended, but this one hit differently. In the past, I usually knew why. It was often tied to petty drama I refused to engage in. This time, I genuinely liked this person, and I couldn’t pinpoint a single reason.

The pageant world is small, and that’s how I met her. I don’t know why she blocked me, and I probably never will. But it brought back an old hurt from years ago, when another pageant friend I admired suddenly did the same thing.

That friend and I were working on a project together to protect children. One day, without explanation, I was blocked. No conversation. No closure. No follow-up on the work we’d discussed. It was deeply hurtful.

I still don’t know what happened, but I do know that weeks earlier I had a falling out with someone who was gossiping, storytelling, and outright lying. I chose to walk away instead of participating, leaving others to decide what to believe. It wasn’t easy, but over time, most people stayed by my side because my actions spoke louder than the rumors.

When someone can’t control you, they often try to control what others think of you.

So today, I wondered if something similar had happened again. Was there a rumor I didn’t know about? Had I unknowingly done something to give it credibility? Or was it as simple as the fact that I openly said I didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton?

I don’t know. But I do know I’m not alone. Almost everyone has experienced this at some point.

That’s probably why this quote by Josh Shipp landed so hard for me today:

“Authenticity trumps everything.”

Earlier, I was talking with a friend about authenticity in pageantry. I shared that one of my biggest regrets from Mrs. America 2016 wasn’t losing. It was losing sight of my “why.”

I became consumed with having the perfect dress, the perfect answer, the perfect costume, and I did love that costume!

Somewhere along the way, I stopped being fully myself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t regret not winning or not even making top 15. I regret not showing up as 100 percent me.

Looking back, every time I lose sight of who I am, I stumble. Whenever I think, “I should do this like her because she’s so good at it,” that’s when I stop being authentic. And people can tell. When you’re not being real, it’s harder for others to trust you, especially when your character is questioned or your integrity is tested.

Life has moments that push us past our breaking point. Divorce. Career upheaval. Seasons where we say or do things that aren’t fully us. And then there are moments when insecurity creeps in and we convince ourselves we’d be better if we were more like someone else.

So here are three things I want you to remember:

You are amazing exactly as you are. No one could ever replace you.The world misses out when you spend your time trying to be someone you’re not.

Today, while questioning why I lost an acquaintance, I briefly wondered whether my authentic self was enough. And then I remembered that every time I’ve tried to be someone else, those were the moments I regretted most. Those were the times I disappointed myself.

Don’t change who you are to please people. That’s usually when you end up hurting yourself—and them—the most.